Merge Wright: Fake IDs For Pre-Seniors

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Fake ID’s for pre seniors

A guy the other day told me it was tough being 54 and 7 months. He said, “Merge, it’s like being 5 months away from getting your driver’s license or turning 21. He was right. He was stuck in no man’s land. Too old to hang out with the 30 something crowd, to old to cruise with the 40 something Porsche guys but too young to take advantage of the wonderful opportunities afforded seniors 55 and over. 

By the way who started this senior at 55 thing anyway? It used to be 65 and you had to show 3 pieces of ID and have pictures of grand kids and great grand kids with ya and not on a smart phone. Today they card anyone that looks younger than 75. 

Are there underworld types that fabricate fake ID’s for seniors that aren’t seniors so they can get a 10% discount at Wendys. What would happen if you had a fake senior ID and got caught buying a senior meal after being stealthily observed by the secret senior detective bureau of your local police department? They run a make on you, find out your 53, and you just got a $1.20 discount on a business meal at Wendys. Special geriatric jails would be set up for time out plus the judge in the morning, court costs and a menial fine of probably $125 and a slap on the wrist to not do it again. My advice is hang in there your day will come. Patience is a virtue. And you don’t need to pay for the new high tech low profile really fast police cars they’re all wanting.

Here are 3 of my favorite sayings:

When you end up in a trial and go to court, you’re putting your fate into the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

If it were not for Thomas Edison we’d be watching television in the dark.

3. The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

On the planet earth each time you have a birthday 9 million others are having a birthday on the same day. Maybe we could start something cool with the other 8,999,999. Let’s think about that for a while. If they’d all just send me a DIME, 10 cents, I’d be happy.

One more crazy item: The words RACECAR AND KAYAK are the same spelled forwards and backwards. They call em “palindromes”. Are you a palindrome. Nan, Bob, how many can you come up with?

mergewright@yahoo.com is open 24/7 drop me a note and make my day.

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