Merge Wright: Pick Your Tea Party And Fight For Your Right To Partee


The Green Tea Party, is made up of adults that like the color green, they’re ecology minded, tree huggers, plant sniffers, electric car owners and green tea drinkers. They’d like to see a green person in the White House, Bob or Emily Green would work. They’re nice people that don’t lie, cheat or steal. Their chances of making it to the White House about one in a million.

The Long Island Iced Tea Party, is made up of wealthy party people. Brokers, bankers, CFO’s. They meet frequently in the Hamptons, South Beach, Maui, Boca, Jackson Hole, the Tamarack Pool and several secret resort areas to spend a portion of their disposable multi million dollar bonuses buying and selling politicos to forward their crusade for a bigger bonus later this year. Chances of making it to the White House, excellent. Former director of the party was Bernie Madoff-with the money. You remember him. .

The Mr. Tea Party, private men’s club that like their tea mixed with Jack, they’re all members of the NRA and love to hunt big game and good looking dames. They have lodges all across the country, way back in the woods. They like their venison and bear grilled medium rare in a Tequila marinade. They swim in lakes on New Year’s day and wrestle mountain lions for fun. They’re favorite TV shows are “Dancing With the Grizzlies” and “Bear Country CSI”. Chances of making it to the White House? If they do most of their hunting in a helicopter or tricked out tank about 15%. If they’re a mountaineer and live off the land about 23%. If they live on Park Ave. and do this for fun but don’t like getting their hands dirty about 1%.

The Decaffenated Tea Party, raised in the 80’s on Ritalin, type “A” personalities, constantly on the go, never stopping to rest, unable to drink regular coffee or soft drinks. This is the party of people that constantly look over your shoulder when you talk to them scanning the room for someone more important that may be approaching. They are what I call short last paragraph people. Stories, explanations, directions, information, etc., must be quick and to the point. Chances of making it to the White House...ZERO. An election campaign would be a waste of time, if they decide they want to be president they’ll want to be president today not in six months or a day or two.

I was thinking the other day that getting from point A to point B, birth to death is like running through a mine field. I’m sure that analogy has been used a hundred fold at least since mine fields came to be. Your up, your down, you duck, you run, you win, you lose, you love, you hate, well you get the picture. It’s quite a trip. There are those that seek the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. They’ll run over everyone that gets in the way and stop at nothing to get their gold. Then there are those that glow with a special light guiding others on the right path as they travel life’s journey. Some are family, teachers, friends, and some are angels that brighten our day with word or deed. Sometimes you face the 50% rule or the fork in the road. They’re really the same. Which fork has wolves waiting to devour you the right or left? Maybe both do or maybe the wolves aren’t there anymore, maybe you have a rifle and wolves are no problem. It’s getting deeper isn’t it? Let’s all stop at “Roosters” have some wings and call someone we love.

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