Merge Wright: Peeking Into The Spam Folder
Peeking into my spam folder
I use yahoo for my everyday e-mail. It has a meticulous spam filter that puts all spam into a folder to be checked daily. I usually click empty spam folder about once every two or three days. Today, I decided to look at the messages for some good clean fun. Here are my favorites:
10. World Famous Missus Wiggen’s Horse Clock, the ultimate clock for horse lovers. (Horses are nice but I’m not a horse person it must have been that questionnaire I answered about whether I liked Roy Rogers horse Trigger, Dale’s Buttermilk or the Lone Ranger’s Silver...I picked Trigger and they got my email address)
09. Learn how to do psychic readings, make thousands. (I used to think that was all phony baloney but hey if you’ve got a degree in psychic readings you’re definitely a needed professional right?)
08. Timeshare Sold, someone wants to buy your timeshare. (I’ve never owned a timeshare though I did tell our son and his family that next summer we plan on visiting Denver to share some time with him and his family. That had to be it, TIME SHARE.)
07. Sir Francis McLickens Loan Firm, you may qualify for up to 10 million now. (Finally an opportunity to own a Ferrari and that home in Palm Beach that we’ve always dreamed about...wonder if there’s any catches?)
06. Mr. Jiang Jianmin, CEO, China Trust Commercial Bank has selected me for a 28 million dollar investment, (Will I have to wire my bank account number to Jiang so he can deposit the $28 mill in my account or will he send me a cashiers check?)
05. Keep Overhead Low, get reliable outsourcing solutions now (I think what they’re saying here is we have children in many foreign countries ready to build your project for next to nothing, why pay USA minimum wage when we can get the job done for pennies an hour.)
04. IT Jobs, code monkey jobs in your area. (My first thought was we don’t employ monkeys in Ohio but then I thought it must be a type of fun job for computer people….you know monkey jobs, monkey bus, monkey business)
03. Reverend Bennett Snapitup, payment approval from a World Bank to you for $7 million dollars. (It must be true a Reverend wouldn’t lie. Probably has something to do with the pandemic and they selected only me to handle the situation...lucky me.)
02. Become an Insurance Underwriter, train now for a lucrative career in insurance underwriting. (Learn how to take in a lot and spend nothing, the art of high deductibles, fine print, verbal & written denials, and don’t forget for every $100 you pay for insurance Flo gets to keep $10.)
Dr. William Snickers Mountain Home Nutritionals...sardines overstock sale 20% off while they last. (Well I just about jumped out of my rocker on this one. Twenty percent off on sardines is like Halloween here at the ranch. I bet when I call they won’t have any of the 20% left and I’ll have to pay sticker price, it happens every year.)
Hope everyone is feeling good and looking forward to a great holiday season in November and December.
Please feel free to send your comments, ideas, etc to: firstname.lastname@example.org I promise you will not end up in my spam folder.